Comments for Parental Alienation Disorder

Comment on Parental Alienation: Projective Identification & Provoked Target Parents by Alienated Parents

Alienated Parents — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 04:53:43 +0000

Hi Jenna, you may want to visit Dr. Joshua Coleman’s web-site. His page is http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/ as you have adult children, his site may be helpful. Or, you can search “support groups for estrangement.” Best of luck to you!

Comment on Parental Alienation: Projective Identification & Provoked Target Parents by Jenna

Jenna — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 02:31:13 +0000

After 25 years of marriage, I filed for divorce. Since then my adult son and daughter (23 & 25 yrs old) have cut me totally off. They are filled with hatred and nothing I do seems to reach them. Before this we had a warm and loving relationship. Now I can do nothing right, their father can do nothing wrong and their perception of things both past and present aren’t even close to the truth. Is there any support groups dealing with adult onset PAS?

Comment on A Couple of Words of Caution about Parental Alienation. Fact vs. Fallacy by Monika Logan by alessandra Mckenzie

alessandra Mckenzie — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 03:50:36 +0000

Hi Bill,
I just discovered this website because I was searching for support group here in charlotte, nc. I was interested in becoming an advocate for this cause. I too am suffering terribly from a estranged husband emotionally controlling my son and poisoning him against me. I never new this existed until it is happening to me. I want to make people aware and educate all who are willing to listen. Children are at great risk for emotional scarring. Please advise how I can help.
alessandra

Comment on Parental Alienation: A Sample of Pertinent Findings by sherri

sherri — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 09:07:02 +0000

Robert gartner your reply can’t say the truth any more clearer. The pain a parent endures living with being alienated from there child whom only knew first two years my sons life. This pain time will never heal nor ALLOW ME TO BREATHE OR SLEEP THE SAME. If helps it takes time to build a case but knowing ur doing for ur child stay strong by gather evidence n info all u can n study all statues pertain to custody n placement/child abuse n do all u can legally to prove the truth n. It takes time but u will win

Comment on Offsetting Parental Alienation: Teenagers & Tactics by Alienated Parents

Alienated Parents — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 01:24:17 +0000

Julie, thank you for your comment. Sad but true: PAS is often times dismissed and denied as a form of child abuse. Parents and professionals attuned to the phenomenon know the current reality: court orders are worthless. Parents that participate in alienating behaviors refuse to follow decrees and parenting plans. As you are probably aware, some parents move across state lines, or leave the country. While clearly, some parents may move to protect himself or herself (and the children) from a physically abusive spouse, others such as cases of PAS, do so simply to “remove” the parent from the child’s life—it is a form of revenge. If you can, please find a helping professional that understands PAS dynamics. Also, you may want to connect with the parental alienation awareness organization. April 25th is Parental Alienation Awareness Day. I gather you are in a rural area. Dr. Kathleen Reay, http://www.parentalalienationhelp.org mentioned creating a blog or page for alienated children. This is certainly a personal decision. Some parents have opted for this route, as their cries for help fell on deaf ears. You may also plan an event to help create awareness about this horrific form of emotional abuse. Best of luck to you.

Comment on Offsetting Parental Alienation: Teenagers & Tactics by Julie

Julie — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 23:27:10 +0000

I also am to have 50/50 but I am fighting a courthouse where my x’s family runs it.I am in a county that doesn’t even have 1 stop light in the entire hick county. The judge will not even do anything what he put as my legal rights. I have close to 1000 contempts but yet the judge will not do anything to him. I have not had my daughters since Dec 21, 08. I know nothing on my daughters. They will not do anything with my family. How would you like to get a text message from someone that one of your daughters is in the hospital but you don”t know who, what ,where. When you try calling you find out his numbers have been disconnected. You try to find out at hospitals but you have to take off work to show you have legal rights and they are yours but yet you still can’t find out because he says those are not up to date. All lies. I pay my child support but yet know nothing. Iowa does not have laws for PAS but there is plenty of help for those who are dead beat parents.

Comment on Parental Alienation Syndrome: One Father’s Story by Terry Kee by Alienated Parents

Alienated Parents — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 18:08:03 +0000

Tracey, thank you for your comment. Terry’s article captures the plight of rejected parents. Without intervention, contact is lost for many years. In some situations, the relationships permantely severed. Although there has been a lot of progress, some still hold the misconception that parental alienation is a natural by-product of divorce. Or, other times it is depicted that men are only impacted. Dr. Gardner, who introduced the term, Parental Alienation Syndrome ( PAS) did so during the tender years presumption (meaning with all things equal, a child was awarded to his/her mother). Also, as you posted, not every parent has the funding to continue with such a heart-breaking battle.

I appreciate you sharing: “My heart breaks every moment, this is not how I chose this path but I accept it as I am to help others with this, I explain it as living with grief, my mother/child relationship has died and I can never recapture this time- I find myself crying as a grieving mother when you least expect it, I mourn my loss but am hopeful for the day we can reunite” On this site there is a post, very familiar to your story. It includes links to information about grief: http://parentalalienationsupport.com/2011/11/20/letting-go-when-alienated-parents-give-up/

I am glad to read that you attend games; you may stand in the background at this moment in time, but you faithfulness will bring you to the forefront. As you mentioned, you want to help others: you already have. Sharing your story helps shed light that this surreal ordeal hurts everyone: fathers, mothers, and children. There are many resources about parental alienation. For starters, Dr. Kathleen Reay, has a workbook located at: http:www.parentalalienationhelporg. In her workbook, she describes her mother’s statement about ignored problems: don’t just sit there—do something. You are doing something. Some other resources: If you have not, you may want to connect with the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization. Dr. Richard Warshak’s book, Divorce Poison is a must read. Lastly, there is MATCH (mothers apart from their children). http://www.matchmothers.org/

Warm Regards,

Comment on Letting Go: When Alienated Parents Give Up by Renee

Renee — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 17:14:42 +0000

Re: Janet’s comment—It is unfortunate that even Christian parents alienate. They seem to change any rule be it the courts, society & even the Churches. It is very selfish and appears to hurt everyone, including themselves. My step daughter was baptized Catholic by her mother & dad (both raised Catholic). Dad & I raised her in the Catholic religion for 13 years. Her mother has told her numerous times that she herself doesn’t believe in the church & only baptized her because her dad told her she had to. My SD & her mother went to Christian churches sporadically over the years. To me this was the epitome of being hypocritical.
Re: Luci’s comment–I don’t feel as though my husband & I are grieving like our child is dead so to speak. It is more the loss of the close & loving relationship we once had & would have liked to continue.

Comment on Parental Alienation Syndrome: One Father’s Story by Terry Kee by Tracey

Tracey — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 13:21:05 +0000

I have not read anyone’s comments as of yet, only responding- I too am the mother of an alienated son, who was taken from my primary caregivers life and heart- it happened so quickly and the allegations ripped through me with a sharp edge., Although I was able to prove the allegations were untrue, the supervised visits I requested so I can be documented only solidified the parental alienation was already full force in action and the child hatred towards me was decided against me- his father who never wanted to be a family and was a dead beat dad owing tens of thousands of dollars to the 4 other children he left behind without a glance would now be awarded full custody. I do not have education or medical allowances to keep in touch. I pay child support and medical insurance, which takes away a whole pay check. My only communication was on facebook but the PA had my now 10 year old son parroting to his sister and I- We are all saddend that he has turned away from our entire family and disregards us, turns his head from us.We continue to pray for him and have alot of faith that one day he will realize that we do love him and his inner spirit stays somewhat intact for his return to our family and many communtiy friends we shared. I was a parent very involved with my son, I worked full time, served as his cub scout leader, class parent, and we attended church together, assuring he attended weekly. He now has none of those activities although he is involved in sports and seems to excel in them. When I attend, I stand in the background, the PA always has his family and friends there to intimidate me- I do not want to distract my son’s attention on game so I tend to not let him know I am there. My heart breaks every moment, this is not how I chose this path but I accept it as I am to help others with this, I explain it as living with grief, my mother/child relationship has died adn I can never recapture this time- I find myself crying as a grieving mother when you least expect it, I mourn my loss but am hopeful for the day we can reunite. I have great faith in God and know that has helped me to survive this surreal nightmare. I pray for all children, parents, family and friends affected by Parental Alienation and hope one day it is recognized as a DSM IV, I pray that it is recognized in Family Court and Child PROTECTIVE Agencies as Child Abuse. I pray for the Law Guardians assigned to the cases, that they could interview both parents and not totally ignore me after being conned by PA. Peace and Blessings, Tracey

Comment on Letting Go: When Alienated Parents Give Up by Alienated Parents

Alienated Parents — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 23:57:04 +0000

Janet: Thank you for your comment. I am hopeful that the Christian community will recognize the turmoil that alienation thrusts upon rejected parents. It is disheartening that one parent teaches the child to hate the other parent (as we know, the child does not truly “hate” the rejected parent). Although alienated children clearly appear like they are harboring hatred, the appearance is misleading. It is easy to see why many are critical of rejected parents as they observe the rejection. Or, without education about parental alienation, one can understand why rejected parents believe and internalize that their child(ren) hate them. This is yet another reason why education about parental alienation is needed. It is difficult for rejected parents when they are dealing with children who display extreme rebellion, destroy property, perpetually trash family dinners, refuse visitation (in the absence of true abuse and neglect) and many other manifestations of undesirable behavior that result from parental alienation.