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An Alienated Mother’s Story

Parental Alienation and the Christian: My Story

December 14, 2009

posted by Monika (not the author)

I’d like to start this blog entry by saying that everything worked out for me in the end, but it didn’t. My story of parental alienation continues, sadly.

I was married back in the early eighties. My husband was a drug pusher and cheater, and that’s why I finally divorced  him.  Well, he also abused me physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. He cheated on me on our honeymoon, if you can believe it. So, after my patience and tolerance ran out after about three years of misery and infidelity, I left him, taking our two small kids with me.

And the hell began. He and his mother began lying about me, taking me to court and filling the judges ears with lie after lie. My ex even had some of his drug pusher buddies ready to testify against me (liars!). When my kids went to visit him and his mom, they always came back hating me. They cried and screamed when they saw me, while my ex and his mom grinned and maintained it was because of me.

Of course this was way before parental alienation was well-known in divorce circles. I didn’t know how to combat what was going on, and I was confused as to what was really going on. I knew my ex and his mom were brainwashing the kids, but it still baffled me. After the screaming and crying, the kids returned to my home, and after a day or so all was well. The kids returned to loving me and treating me with respect and honor.

But next visitation, the scenario would happen again: the kids would leave my presence happy and healthy, and come back hating me. It got worse over the years, and my ex and his mom got worse over the years. They took me to court for everything imaginable (crazy stuff like where I went to church, my daughter getting lice at school along with other classmates, me going to college, etc.), draining my meager finances and lying to judge after judge about me. I won every time, well until the last time.

One thanksgiving my ex’s mom came to pick up my kids and never returned them. I had to drive eight hundred miles to pick them up, and when I did, there was another restraining order for me. This was their favorite tactic: filing restraining orders against me so they could keep the kids for extended periods of time and brainwash the kids extensively.

But this time the kids were alot older and the judge seriously considered their choice in the matter. By the time we got to court, I knew it was crazy to make them return to me. They’d just run away or refuse to come back next time. Finally, I made the decision to let them go and trust God with their lives.

I’m still trusting God. And my kids are still far from me emotionally. The years I have spent away from them has been difficult. I wanted to commit suicide several times, and I cried so many tears I probably formed a river up in heaven. The only way I got through it was hanging on to my faith in God, and by spending time in His presence. I also had a good friend that talked me through things, and I am forever grateful to him for his support.

My kids have changed alot. With me they were loving, respectful, and considerate. Now they are cold and living apart from the Lord’s influence. I still love them, but have moved on. I don’t think they’ll ever really return to me. They are happy and don’t seem to need or want me. Their grandma is their mom now.

I wanted to write this entry to briefly share my story, in hopes to encourage others. Things didn’t work out for me, but I am still with God. I hang on to Him still. He will never fail me or forsake me.

During the tough years, the Lord always told me to keep my eyes on Him, not on my kids hating me. That is my message to you: Focus on God. Trust Him. He is your life. You may or may not reconcile with your kids. Either way, God is good. All the time!

Last, God knows a thing or two about being alienated from kids. You see, He created all of us, and we have all forsaken Him by sinning against Him. Until we repent of our sins and begin to believe in and follow Jesus, we are alienated from Him in mind and spirit. The Master Parental Alienator, the devil, wants us eternally alienated from Father God and will do everything it takes for that to happen. Many of us submit to this spiritual alienation very willingly, as we hate God with our disobedience and refusal to believe in His loving Son, Jesus Christ.

God knows how it feels when your kids hate you. He goes through it every day. He created people  in order to love them and be loved by them, yet billions in the past and now today on this earth refuse fellowship with Him. They love their sins and themselves, and don’t want anything to do with Abba Father. God has no choice but to let them die in their sins. So, He knows how you feel.

To become reconciled to God and join His awesome family, all you need to do is repent of your sins and put your faith in Jesus. He died for your sins so that you could have a relationship with God. He did away with the sins that separate you from Father God. Receive Him today. He loves you.

And to my kids: I love you and miss you. We had hard times together but we also had good times. I gave you God, and I can only hope you return to Him someday. He loves you so very, very much. As do I.

Categories: Parents
  1. JB
    January 1, 2010 at 11:01 PM

    And herein lies the problem: that blog entry could very easily have been written by the biological mother of my step-children (it wasn’t, but I am making a point). My step-children’s biological mother has told everyone who will listen “her story”. How she divorced her children’s father (now my husband) because he was a pedophile (he’s not). How she has been the innocent victim of restraining order after restraining order (it’s true, she has been the subject of multiple restraining orders — but the part she leaves out is that she has stalked and physically assaulted both her ex-husband and myself). How her children have been “brainwashed” and no longer want to spend time with her (the fact that she spent every waking second around them trash-talking their Dad and raging at them until the wee hours of the morning is conveniently overlooked).
    My point is, I’ve lived in the middle of this for years now, and I cannot imagine how anyone living outside of the situation could possibly get to “the truth”. If you listen to my step-children’s mother, you would come away believing that she is a hero for protecting her children from an evil sex-abuser; and she is a victim of the family court system that was somehow “bribed” or convinced to turn against her and take her children away from her.
    If you were one of children, however, if you were the one who had to listen to her rage on and on, into the wee hours, or following you to the bathroom and raging through the bathroom door, demanding that you agree with her twisted viewpoint of your father; if you were relieved to finally be able to live with your Dad and get away from the relentless raging of your Mom (and you objected to being forced to visit her for that very same reason)… you would hope that the judges and the mental health experts and others would see through your Mom’s lies and poor pitiful victim story.
    This is not an easy problem to solve.

    • HOPE
      October 19, 2010 at 7:29 AM

      Hello, i don’t know the whole story nor do i think it really matters at this point. I am an alienated mother of two boy’s almost adults now. I never spent any time in jail or had restraining order after restaining order put on me but i very well could have.Not seeing your children is the most horrific pain you can even imagine! I had good friends and the help of my lord to keep me sane. Oh how i wanted to go over there and give them a piece of my mind and ya i have even thought of hurting them. I know sounds crazy huh? But these are your children and not only are they being alienated from you but they are have a part of who they are taken away! Now this does not mean that they will be ok cause someone else can make them or give them what they need this means that they have a 100% chance of being screwed up! Tell that to a mom and see what happens! I left my husband after 20years and my children were told horrible things about me and they started to slowly stop coming to see me this is called parenal alienation. He was so anry with me leaving he wanted to hurt me the only way he could, with my kids! Children have the right to see both parents and should be encouraged to do so even if one parent might have some problems. Who don’t? Parental alienation is an epodemic and it is being said that it is the root to all these young children who are ending up in jail, on the streets, drugs, inconsiderate, inhumane, uncaring the list goes on and on. Have you asked yourself what is happening to our kids? Parental alienation is! When you take a parent out of a childs life you have changed who they are meant to be forever! You can’t be the other parent it will never work no matter how hard you try! We all need to know who we are and where we came from. They will grow up and see what happend to them. Sounds like this mom just wanted to see her kids and mabey she did not do everything right but she showed how much they meant to her and these kids will see that some day and blame you two for not doing your part aS supporting adults in there life. THESE KIDS NEED A HERO! SOMEONE TO LOOK OUT FOR THEM AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO SEE THERE MOM FOR THERE SAKE! GOD PROTECTS THE LITTLE CHILDREN AND I PRAY YOU ARE NOT STANDING IN THE WAY OF THOSE CHILDREN! JESUS LOVES YOU AND KNOWS WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES BUT YOU HAVE THE POWER TO TURN THIS AROUND AND BE THAT HERO THAT THEY NEED! PLEASE SAVE THERE LIFE AND GIVE THEM A FIGHTING CHANCE! IF YOU REALLY LOVE THEM YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FORGIVE HER FOR ANYTHING SHE HAS DONE TO YOU AND REALIZE SHE WAS IN ALOT OF PAIN NOT FOR HER HUSBAND BUT FOR HER CHILDREN! BE KIND AND LOVING TO HER LIKE JESUS IS TO YOU AND HE WILL BLESS YOU BEYOND BELIEF, YOUR LIFE WILL BLOSSOM LIKE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER! BE THERE HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS PRAYED ON THE CROSS, FATHER FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO! HE LOVES YOU!

      • E Kimura
        June 29, 2016 at 3:03 AM

        My heart goes out to you. I live in Hawaii. Am local Asian and these things are not talked about. Japanese men can be narcissist – locals refer to it as samurai – as mine is. He was 11 years older than I, more educated and powerful. My son is now 22. A blessing to find this site. A heart wrenching event took place today. Where are you today with PA?

    • NCP Mom
      March 9, 2011 at 8:17 AM

      You sound exactly like my children’s stepmother. She goes on and on about how I play the victim, too. However, she does not, nor could she know the whole story about what happened between myself and my ex. He is a narcissist who abused me emotionally for 15 years, but because I believed in the sanctity of marriage, I stuck it out for as long as I could. I don’t “play the victim” as she claims, but I do tell my story as I believe everyone should. Until these men are exposed for what they really are, they will continue to get away with their behavior. Of course, she tries to “expose” the truth about me be repeating his lies about me. I don’t rant and rave about everything terrible he did while I am with my children, but if they ask a direct question, I am not going to lie to them, either. Of course, that’s pretty much immaterial now because my kids don’t want anything to do with me anymore anyway.

  2. June 7, 2011 at 8:12 PM

    I am a mother of two daughters 16 years and 18 years old. I filed for divorce from their father who was cheating on me .I met he and his girlfriend having breakfast one saturday morning , i surprised them both by not getting physically angry .i asked her to give me my husband back and allow me to keep my family together .I requested them to have no contact with each other for one year and if the still felt the same i would walk away and let them be together. I forgave them that very day , told them they were sinners but that God still loved them .I tried for 9 months to hold on to my family but my husband was not equally trying .He kept seeing her behind my back .I then filed for divorce and my life got much worse .Our oldest daughter went to stay with her aunt my husbands sister to help her give birth to her third daugter. My dughter never came back after i filed for divorce .My youngest daughter followed her to her aunts eight months after i filed for divorce. Our daughters knew of the affair and asked me to leave after i had found out , i believed in my wedding vows .To be together thru sickness and health , richer or poorer , good times and bad till death due us part .I have been going thru with the divorce process for 21 months .My daughters have nothing to do with me , they do not accept my phone calls or return my text messages. My oldest daughter tried to keep me away from her high school graduation , but i went any way.I am trying to be respectful of their feelings toward me , I know in my heart as well as God knowing I have done nothing to have them not have a relationship with me . My husband knows that i can’t be hurt except thru my children or my parents. I am a child of divorce and know how parent alienation works first hand.That’s why I am being respectfull to my childrens feelings toward me and pray everday that when time as healed their emotional wounds they will remember the me as the remember me and my actions not that from what their father or his family may tell them .I know how someone can be brainwashed as i had been myself from my husband toward my own parents .Never let go of hope that your children will one day come back to you. Never quit loving them .Love them uncondionally as GOD DOES TO HIS CHILDREN. Children grow up to be adults that can make better judgements when it comes to relationships with others. I taught my daughters to never see someone thru the eyes of others , see them thru your own eyes then form your opionion from what you have seen .Because everyone never sees the same thing.I believe in my heart that my children are having to play the game of alienation to survive .My daughter wants to go to college and her father has the money to send her, I DON’T but would work 4 jobs if thats what i took .I can only give my daughters UNCONDITIONAL LOVE were their father can buy the moon .I hold out hope that one day when they are older and mothers they would rather have the uncondtional love not the moon .I have my memories of the years I spend with my daughters thats what gets me thru the seperation. Never give up hope of one day they find what they lost their mother whom never left and never gave up. I right them daily and tell them how much they are loved and missed .I will give them to them when they return .My parents have been divorced 23 years and I am still got in the middle of them at 42 years of age.

    • June 7, 2011 at 10:02 PM

      .Thank you for your comment. Many believe that parental alienation can only happen to men. Unfortunately, many women dismiss this form of abuse. Because it does not leave physical marks, some women’s groups discard the pain it can cause. As some women have stayed at home to care for their children, they find themselves in a predicament in later years. Also, your situation is like many, many mothers, .”My daughter wants to go to college and her father has the money to send her, I DON’T but would work 4 jobs if that’s what i took .” Buying the child / adolescent is one of the many tactics alienating parents utilize to “one up” the other, rejected parent. I hope you have support and find peace. Blessings

  3. deb
    June 20, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    my son left almost 2 yrs ago, he was 13, he had visitation with the father but his mother barged in and took my baby, he went every other w/e and half holidays, what a nightmare that be came! it took me about 2 days after a w/e visitation for him to adjust into our family routine. The holidays when he spent time with them was a nightmare… the short story is, the father never maintained or cared for the child in 13 yrs. I reached breaking point because of my son’s behaviour of which his father approved! (hitting,swearing, destroying his room and property, running away) ” i said take him..after i had to have him (son) arrested and detained for assault against me. next thing i know my baby is living with them and there takin me to court, I never attended as the court is 100 miles away and i do not drive, i have seen my baby 3 times in almost 2 yrs and that bitch of a mother in law will not even allow me to call my baby, she doesn’t even have residency! its her son’s residency order who lives in an entirely different village(and has NEVER MAINTAINED} my son .
    I see an lot on here about fathers for justice..what about MOTHERS 4 JUSTICE, i did nothing wrong, never abused or neglected my son, i have no drug or alcohol history, i just don’t have the money to fight the court system as i actually do work. no legal aid for me. if anyone knows a way of getting to my son please advice

  4. December 14, 2011 at 1:00 AM

    It is about time to stop parental alienation with the same tools that parents are alienated. Please sign the petition to the United Nation to recognize parental alienation for what it is violence and abuse againt children.
    Bring all your family and friends to sign at:

    http://www.change.org Human rights tab and children’s rights tab.

  5. May 28, 2012 at 10:09 PM

    My heart goes out to all loving parents, as well as the children, who are forced to live with the very painful consequences of parental alienation syndrome. I,too, have been alienated from my beloved daughter. Her father is largely responsible for this dreadful and deceitful act, but the family court system is also hugely responsible, for they are the ones that allow this horrifying form of abuse to occur in the first place.
    I presented substantial evidence to the courts that PAS was indeed taking place and was clearly having a detramental effect on my daughter, but it was ignored by the court.
    I have been so appalled by my PA experience with my daughter’s father, as well as the unjust treatment I received in family court that I have published a book describing my ordeal, which began six years ago and is still going on to this day.
    My book is called PARENTAL ALIENATION IS ABUSE: One Mother’s Nightmare And Her Fight For Justice.
    My personal story will help you understand exacly how the process of parental alienation works and what signs to look for when dealing with an alienator.
    Parental Alienation is on the rise!
    If enough parents stand together and show support on stopping parental alienation,maybe then,the courts will listen.Only then, might we help put an end to this dreadful form of emotional abuse!

    • Judith A. Meyncke
      November 17, 2012 at 1:06 AM

      Dear Miss Barbara,

      Thank you for sharing your story. Could you please forward your e-mail address to me?

      My heart and prayers are with you.


      Judith A. Meyncke

  6. melinda
    June 23, 2012 at 7:51 PM

    When I divorced my husband of 35 years my 4 children did not speak to me or even see me. They wrote nasty latters and I never saw my grandchildren. Now, 8 years later I am re married which made things a bit worse in the sense that there was “another man” It took many many years to even get to this point. My oldest daughter is loving and kind and visits when she can with her girls. My middle son is the best he is always here. His wife is loving as well my 2 grandchildren want to be with me all the time. However, My oldest son as well as my youngest son are still somewhat alienated. it does not help that they live 2 hours away and have made every excuse in the book not to vist. dog sick, too far, too tired ect….these 2 daughter in laws are awful do not respect me barely speak to me and do not ever visit. I blame my sons for not standing up to this revenge and hate campaign that my ex started. Sadly my grandchildren are the ones paying the price.

    I have now decided I am done with trying to keep in touch and call or sends gifts and cards..Never a thank you or even a response from the oldest or youngest boys or their wives………What goes around comes around and I have no regrets. I know someday they will.

  7. S. Moore
    April 28, 2013 at 9:41 PM

    Imagine the position these children are in. Their father has severed the familial ties with the maternal family. If they recognize this manipulation for what it is and hold the father responsible they then lose their paternal side of the family leaving them “homeless” since most assuredly the father will ditch them in order to save face. Can’t expect a narcissist to admit to ANY wrongdoing! My heart goes out to you all and all your children. They and their children are the real helpless victims. For those of you who let your children go rather than keep them in the hell of continuously being verbally abused by their fathers for your very presence in their lives, remember your sacrifice. Have strength and find others to nurture until yours come around.

  8. Gloria
    July 6, 2013 at 7:08 PM

    Your strength and logic are encouraging. I am going through this and I am also a believer. My son doesn’t get involved but my 13 year old daughter is deeply enmeshed. I suspect anorexia. For her sake, im wondering if I should let her go since her mind has been deeply poisoned. I ask for God’s wisdom daily. I want to trust God with my daughter.

  9. liisa
    November 2, 2013 at 9:19 PM

    I can only hope and pray that one day my own daughter will fully understand and know the truth. its a horrible thing to be alienated from your child. I have tried everything and don’t understand how I have lost her. I love her and am crushed. its good to know im not alone. hope god and the angels bring her heart back to me. I believe children are used as a way to hurt the other parent. god bless

  10. Mandy
    May 24, 2014 at 5:46 AM

    He took them both for “summer vacation” then emailed saying he was not going to return them. 10 years he hid them from me. When my oldest (daughter Meagan) found me on Facebook, she got grounded for talking to me. She was hateful and blaming me for the lack of contact and did not want to hear or believe my side. She started cutting herself and went into cps custody (for something completely unrelated to me btw), he lost her which meant I did too. She will be adopted any day now. My son just turned 14. I finally got an address through cps with everything with my daughter.I Hired a lawyer and have had 1 weekend with him a month. We are still going through this battle. He praises his dad and constantly puts me down. His views are the same as his sister (all my fault) A very obvious brain washing! For years i wrote letters, email etc, to the grand parents house, hoping they would reach them, I tried over and over for years….just to be told by my son that I am a deadbeat and that he hated me today. He seams great on our weekends, we laugh and play and have a good time, but as soon as he goes home or even gets a call from his dad…his attitude changes and he gets down right nasty. I know it isn’t his fault. Parental Alienation is the highest form of child abuse. The sad thing is that the kids don’t even know it. They only want to please the custodial parent in hopes of approval. My son is about to fail for the second time just because my lazy ex cant get him to school…It amazes me that courts allow this kind of thing (like all of our stories) to happen.

  11. July 1, 2015 at 11:28 PM

    This blog entry and all the comments touched me deeply. I am a professional counselor and licensed clergy. I spend my days advocating and helping alienated parents and children deal with their grief and sometimes help restore relationships. I have three children, two from my last marriage…Steven, the youngest now 18, and Rachael, the middle one and my only daughter, 21 next week. When they were 2 and 4, their father filed divorce. He was abusive and wealthy and charged me over and over with allegations…then he went to my father (my original abuser) and he signed the children over to them. Not only did he a lienate the children from me, when I told the courts my father couldn’t have custody or temporary guardianship because he had sexually abused me…(this is the first time the family secret was out)…my entire family including siblings and my ex kept my children away from me. There was never a good reason but with money things like what I fed them, that I prayed and read the bible to them…everything became an issue except the real issues at hand. Last June my youngest after all these years reached out to me and we talked every night like time never passed. I went to see him at college for a week and when I came home…this was last November…there hasn’t been even a phone call. The depth of hatred even so many years later is mind boggling. My daughter truly believes I would kill her. Can I blame them when my entire family of origin and their father has spitefully alienated me? I never thought I would get through it. I had to release them to God and I sitll stand in faith that in His time our relationships will be restored. It has made me a great counselor and evaluator. I will go to the ends of the earth and research everyone in the childrens life and I do everything so that the children that I am entrusted to make decisions for have the ability to have a relationship with both parents. Granted…in extreme cases that might not be possible right away but in most cases only some safety measures need to be put in place and parents really educated at the damage they are causing their children that often have lifetime consequences. I truly believe the death of a child is easier than being alienated. My prayers to all of you. This shouldn’t be so. Here is a poem I would like to share with you:
    As much as God has gifted me to write…a poet I’m not…but I couldn’t help but pen these words from my heart…to my daughter Rachael Weisinger and son Steven Weisinger
    The Depth & Longing of a Mother’s Love : A poem from the heart of an Alienated Mother
    When you were taken from me
    I couldn’t breathe…like drowning in the open sea
    The pain and the horror cut so deeply my heart
    There isn’t a part of me that hasn’t ached from the start
    Being your mom was I ever wanted to be
    Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years go by
    But still that is all that matters to me.
    A mothers love is like no other
    And life for you hurt and was hard to cover.
    Other family tried but no one can ever take the place of a mother.
    Time keeps passing and a young adult you’ve become
    The past is the past and can’t be undone
    People told me that in time the pain would begin to heal
    But over 15 years later the hole in my life nothing can conceal
    Regrets and remorse stagnate in my mind
    Daily I wish we could fast forward or rewind
    In your mind so hard you try to make me not exist
    But within your heart…wherever you look memories persist.
    You see me as a monster
    I can see how easy that is to believe
    Than my endless unconditional love is for you to conceive
    Remember my child, the devil is real and his job to deceive
    His lies through loved ones hard not to believe
    So young & so innocent, so much taken from you
    A moment hasn’t passed that I don’t hurt with and for you.
    Many who know me see only my guarded presentation
    Only God knows the depth of my sorrow & frustration
    Yes, mistakes I have made and own then I have
    For years I’ve dissected every part of what happened just trying to survive
    If Christ’s love hadn’t reached down to fill me with hope
    Without you in my life, I wouldn’t be able to cope.
    To sum it up, life without you just won’t suffice
    I pray mother/daughter & mother/son in Christ will unite.
    If given the chance…you might just find out….
    Your mom is not anything that you think she’s about.
    So I’ll wait, and I’ll pray, until one day you decide…
    Your mother is someone you just might want by your side
    Until that day, I trust my Heavenly father to hold
    The most prescious gifts given to me far greater than God
    Love & Trust are hard won and easy to lose
    But now that your older…no one but you can choose
    So I release you into God’s capable hand s….
    To guide you in truth so that one day together reunited we will stand.

    God bless you all. Stop by my website at http://www.christiancounselingcorner.com and hope4hurtinghearts.org

    • Ann Marie Escamilla
      April 5, 2017 at 8:07 PM

      May God bless you…; your feelings, and stat meets to your alienated child mirror my own….
      The pain is unbearable that I cannot continue to live….I cannot live without my life….

    • Michael
      April 1, 2018 at 12:08 PM

      I connected with your poem, I once texted my estranged daughter ” I miss you like OXYGEN ” I am a father that has been alienated from his precious princess and it feels like my heart is being ripped apart every day for the last 3 1/2 years . We are preparing to go to court , I would greatly appreciate prayers and support for Taylor (my 16 yr old daughter)and for me to have strength to persevere and win this battle for my daughters heart, mind and soul.Thanks in advance for prayers and encouraging e-mails mwhit@live.com please help me MAGNIFY GOD in this trial not the enemy who attempts to alienate our children from the Love of the Father. May God bless each of you walking through this this trial! Sincerely, Michael W.

  12. Ann Marie Escamilla
    April 5, 2017 at 8:02 PM

    The story which I just read is exactly what I have gone through….I have to trust the Holy Spirit to heal my daughter…. Yes, the hatred,cruelty, manipulation which our poor children are taught to follow by the alienators has killed me and my daughter…. I, only, can hope that God will send me to Heaven, in order
    that I get eternal rest….I will not be with my Mary until we get to Heaven….😞 I thank you for writing this post…; it is similar to my own situation….

  13. JP
    April 8, 2017 at 6:30 AM

    Thank you for sharing you testimony and incites. I absolutely love how you related our sinful lives causing our Father being alienated from us.

    I too, am alienated from my daughter, going on five years now.

    I very much relate to you and the many court appearances, not to mention the numerous councilors and therapists my daughter was taken too. It seemed that when a therapist was close to debunking the lies, her mother would take her somewhere else until one would stop my visitation and a false allegation for abuse was entered in the court with a police report.

    The judge in his infinite wisdom through out my custody case leaving me, my daughter and our loving relationship in limbo to be further torn apart.

    I went through so many emotions…Angry, hatred, despair, loneliness, depression, rage, isolation, uncontrolable weeping, failure, and anxiety. For two years, I did not sleep well. My waking hours, I felt as if I had millions of tiny needles pricking me.

    I started going to church, because for the first time God’s​ voice was heard by me. I have come to a place of peace, not total resolve but place where love as been found again. I realize now the hole left in my heart, is small compared to the hole I had without Jesus.

    I pray most everyday for healing, for myself, my daughter, and her mother. If and when my daughter returns, I do not want her to turn from her mother when the lies and deceptions are uncovered. I would like her to process them and offer forgiveness as God has forgiven us.

    Thank you again for your openness.

    In His name,


    • Michael Whitaker
      April 1, 2018 at 12:42 PM

      I know your pain JP, I wake up in the middle of the night most nights thinking of my daughter often crying for her pain and my own. I know God has a redemptive plan in the outcome in this valley as we walk through it with Him. It been a year since your post , I HOPE there`s been some healing in your relationship with your daughter. In Christ`s love, Michael W.

  14. Christine Edwards
    November 14, 2017 at 5:52 AM

    I am currently researching; An exploration on the phenomenon of parental alienation on parents, My interest aroused in this topic, in an effort to garner germane information about this topic, to educate and inform Caribbean nationals that this problem exist. I am also experiencing parental alienation from my two kids. The pain is ineffably.

  15. Angel
    December 22, 2017 at 11:38 AM

    Thank you for your story. Mine is much the same. God bless you and your family. I do believe I’d not be alive if I didn’t have God. It’s my son’s 19 the birthday and I don’t think the pain ends

  16. Jay
    February 15, 2018 at 6:26 PM

    I understand what you are going through.. I am going through the same thing and it hurts my heart.. Jesus is indeed awesome and I got my son in court but unfortunately i still see things in him and hear him saying things that I know his dad and gf puts in his head…It is sad that they would go to lenghts that would harm our kids mentally and emotionally and we pay the price….I just wish it all would stop but as you said I would continue to pray to God and put him first. The devil is trying all things to get as much people as he want but my son will not be one… May God continue to bless you and help you to get back your loving kids

      February 21, 2018 at 2:50 PM


  17. Elaine Doxie
    February 21, 2018 at 7:56 PM

    The first time I read this story, I was still struggling with the feelings of being alienated from my four children from my first marriage. They are all adults now, and I have varying degrees of relationships with all of them. With the oldest, she is having her first child, and will talk to me if she sees me, but makes no effort to see me at all. I let her know each time I see her that I care, and would like to have a closer relationship, but so far, not much has sunk in. My second child is a son, and he makes an occasional effort. We do get along pretty well when we get the chance and the years of alienation seem to melt away when we do talk. My third child is the one I have the best relationship with. He calls me anytime he has a chance (although that’s less and less often as he’s in the military now), and invites me to and keeps me informed of important events in his life. My youngest son with my first husband is another story entirely, at least for now. He refuses to talk to or see me, and I was not even allowed to attend his high school graduation. I am very sad for the children who continue not to be a part of my life, but I’m ecstatically happy for the ones who have come back, even partially. I continue to pray for all of them, but I never push them for fear of pushing them further away.

  18. Kay
    November 23, 2018 at 2:00 AM

    To the author’s poster, Monika. I’m in the same boat. I was denied Due Process and the years have gone painfully by. I now speak and write to help other women; however, today is Thanksgiving and the pain is still great. I seek to find an answer that will end the carnage through the courts — not just for women now — but especially for those of us who are leftovers from the 80s and 90s who not only lost our greatest treasures (our children), but who were also financially terrorized (for which the effects still show plainly). At first, I thought that I was the ONLY one who had been shamed in this way, far beyond my control; but even though it sounds sick, I felt much better when, after more than two decades, I stumbled across a paper written by a professor who had researched this issue and learned that there are countless women who have been placed in our situation. Even though it sounds corny, we’re sisters who need just what we would have given to our children if we could — that is: guidance, support, validation, and encouragement. The beat goes on, even after decades. God hears and he’ll help, but nothing can take the place of the feeling that you who bore the children and loved them still long to be the mother — the present mother — who remains in their lives as the Only mother and the one whose love they cherish.

    You are in my heart as I try to make it through the holidays without the usual sea of tears. Although I fill my life with the details and goals for each day, my hope is that their love — and the love of my grandchildren — will be mine once again, in full. I wish the very same for you and for all women in our situation. God bless you, and you’ll remain in my prayers — Karen

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