Home > Parents > Alienated Parents: The Serenity Prayer, Extended Version for Rejected Parents by Monika

Alienated Parents: The Serenity Prayer, Extended Version for Rejected Parents by Monika

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

 God I cannot stop  manipulative behavior from an ex-spouse. Neither I nor the courts cannot make my ex-spouse, in the privacy of  (his or her) own home,  stop the chronic denigration. I cannot control the years of emotional abuse my children have endured. I cannot control the distorted black and white thinking my children (or adult children) now have. God they see me as all bad and the other parent as fault free. I only seek balance.  I cannot force my kid(s) to stop telling me they hate me, or what a bad (mom or dad) I am. I am only human. And  God, while I know they have been taught to reject me–the words still hurt. It is painful to hear you are only being used for your money–that you are not loved.

God I am hurt for the life my children could have had. God please give me peace. I try not to worry about their futures, but I do. God please allow for wisdom; open my ex-spouses eyes.  Thinking (he or she) is above the law, by outright defiance of all court orders, does not set a good example for the kids.  God please allow my ex-spouse to see that placing the kids in the middle only hurts them. God please give my kids peace; it is okay to love both parents. God please allow insight; my ex-spouse will not stop telling the kids information that is beyond (his or her)  years to hear.  Some things about a parent, teens should not know.

God please allow my adult child  to see that mocking a parent is not your will.  God please allow for justice. There are times when custody has been placed in the wrong hands. Please give judges the wisdom to know the difference. Please God allow Parental Alienation to be recognized as a serious form of emotional abuse. God it is not good for society when kids defy laws, defy parents and reject extended family–for no good reason. Please God clear the minds of those that do not understand Parental Alienation and allow them to see that it is emotional abuse; it is not to be viewed as a diversionary tactic.

God please provide wisdom to those in positions to help children and families.


Categories: Parents
  1. June 29, 2010 at 1:38 PM

    That was great! It is the place you must come to in order to survive Parental Alienation. I would add just one thing –

    God, please give me the tools and strength to heal from this devastating form of abuse so that I will be ready to help my children heal when they are ready to come home. Lord, I understand I can’t fix anyone else involved in this awful abuse but I can fix me. Help me to become emotionally healthy and stable so my children, the courts and everyone involved will be able to see the difference.

    • July 7, 2010 at 2:38 PM

      Thank you for the addition! One of my friends pointed out, that our brains are wired to keep searching for answers-even when we know we cannot change the situation. It really is in God’s hands. I think the courts need educated but in reality large scale change is much slower than individual change.

  2. Tracey
    May 18, 2011 at 11:01 AM

    this is a prayer I have used all along to get me through this nightmare, the article is wonderful.

    • May 19, 2011 at 9:00 PM

      Thanks Tracey: It is by an alienated mother. She found the justice system is unjust. She also learned that the judge would not listen. She tried as well to get a dedicated attorney to understand. She discovered that kindly asking an ex-spouse to cease badmouthing did not work. She realized one day, that not everyone shares the same goal or desires to co-parent. Like many mothers, she also learned that court orders are worthless. But, she has faith. This horrific form of child abuse is now illegal in Brazil. God will work wonders for our children. Children deserve the love of both parents and extended family.

      Zechariah 7:9

      “This is what the LORD Almighty says: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another.

  3. Shanon
    July 21, 2011 at 4:15 PM

    My ex took my daughter 2 years ago on Father’s Day for visitation and never returned her. I took the police, fought in court, and lost due to her age of 14. He worked on her mentally for sometime before she left while we were in a custody battle. His alienation worked and now his views are hers. I now struggle to fight to keep custody of my two younger children as he proceeds to try and do the same with their minds and continues to pursue custody through the courts. I stumbled along this prayer and felt relief that someone out there understands. It is all of what I have felt for years. Thank you very much. I am hopeful to see there is support out there. I had no idea. God Bless the people for their effort in putting such an amazing site on that can help so many. It makes me want to hold my head higher and fight harder for my children who deserve to keep a mother in their lives who loves them.

  4. July 22, 2011 at 3:03 AM

    Shanon: Thank you for your comment. Unfortunately, not all judges comprehend that a 14 year old will not choose his/her residency based on his/her best interest, but instead they will choose where they want to live according to “self-interest.” Clearly, many at age 14 will decide it is best to reside at the home in which the ex-spouse is a friend and not a parent. They also may choose the home where there is more financial support, such as the possibility of a new vehicle. No curfews help entice as well. Some parents even go as far to party with their teen. The parent lacks boundaries. For some mothers ( fathers too) that have been a stay at home parent, prior to the divorce, are at a disadvantage as they do not have the earning capacity to “keep up” with the ex-spouses erratic spending (or should they). Most also will eventually run out of funding to enforce court orders that are blatantly ignored.

    Many do understand. Certainly, some groups and individuals cannot grasp how a child’s mind can be worked over (oddly, many of these same individuals and groups understand why a person can still love a physically abusive spouse) yet remain dumbfounded how or why a child can be enticed to reject a parent that they once loved. Their illogical assumption is to blame the innocent parent (or some say the passive parent). They think that where there is smoke there “must” be fire. They ignore studies on brain development, how and why some join cults, parental conflict, and pressure–just to name a few.

    Continue to hold your head high. Many mothers and fathers endure parental alienation and continue to endure. You are not alone. In Brazil, it is illegal. Most that have endured parental alienation, or those that have dedicated their careers to studying the problem, perceive the issue as emotional abuse. Far too long, many have suffered in silence. Some parents have attempted to get help, only to be told their problem is nothing more than a theory, or that the child/teen will “out grow” parental alienation. There is an organization dedicated to educating the public about parental alienation (parental alienation awareness organization). You may also want to view other resources and the work of Dr. Amy Baker, Dr. Bone and Dr. Richard Warshak. There are a lot of support groups on face book and the web. Because pleas for help fell on deaf ears, many parents have formed support groups. Wishing you the best.

  5. Erin
    August 21, 2011 at 8:04 AM

    Dear friends, I can’t stop the tears for I think my son at 10 has been turned aginst me. He hates me. He can’t tell me why. It hurts so bad! I beg GOD for peace for every child who endures the abuse. May he turn those hearts of stone to hearts of flesh. Together with God there will be peace!

  6. Michelle
    September 6, 2011 at 4:50 AM

    I have been separated for 6 months and have four kids, all being alienated, my older 2 severely. I am fighting like crazy. I am just finding online support. I just wrote this to some friends who are aware of my situation. I hope it’s okay to post – some Christian perspective on our situation…

    Parental Alienation Syndrome is such a picture of the fall of man.

    I have had a parent-child, loving, pure relationship with my children for twelve years. We experienced love and joy and peace, affection and laughter. This relationship has been completely robbed, broken, redefined and separated. I am devastated, grieved, broken hearted. I miss them, I miss our free affection for one another. I haven’t been able to hug my oldest since April. I miss the mutual trust; I miss the mutual respect. I miss their childlike faith in me as their mother. I miss their desire to spend time with me. I grieve their hatred, their distrust, their judgment of me, their contempt, their false accusations. I grieve their belief that I am against them, that I don’t love them, their resentment that I would keep them from something “good.”

    It is not “fair” but it is real.

    Oh, what a picture of our fallen relationship with God, our Father. What has He endured since Satan/sin robbed, broke, redefined and separated us from Him??? How wronged He has been!!! How grieved He has been!!! And what has been His response?

    He chose to rescue and redeem and right this tragedy. He is not angry with us people! His wrath is directed to Satan/sin!! But even Satan/sin could not right this tragedy, should he choose or try. God alone could and so God alone did. On a cross. Out of a broken and affectionate and passionate love for His creation/His children, to repair the broken relationship to what it once was, and even better! I’m overwhelmed by such a beautiful, gracious, compassionate, forgiving, pure Fatherly love!! I’m overwhelmed by the joy He has for us – I will have nothing but PURE JOY when my kids and I are restored back to one another – no resentment or anger! Just gratefulness and joyfulness to be their Mother again!

    Here is my personal hope, my personal example, my personal inspiration: by God’s power, I will love the children back to me as God Himself has done with us. It is His passionate, tender, reassuring, gentle, humble, patient, kind, void of judgment love that woo’ed us to Him and rebuilt the trust that was taken. Just as He does, there will be times of discipline, of protection that is required. I will need His wisdom and discernment. But what a living example of the Gospel I get to express to my children and to others. Oh, how I need this perspective of Him in my own life!! He triumphs, and by His grace and power, we will too!

    Practically, I feel like I am to look on the kids as I would if they were foster children. They have been abused and traumatized by family and don’t feel safe apart from them, and yet here they are stuck with “me.” (Will choose to think of myself, at some level, as just the foster parent). My primary agenda then is establishing a feeling/atmosphere of safety and trust and love. It has helped me tremendously today. I think I have approached or responded to them (especially my 12 yo son) with more tenderness, patience and grace. I am not as tempted to be so hurt or offended by the hateful things he says or does to me. There are some basic rules, mainly for safety and basic respect, as I would imagine would be necessary in a foster experience, but minimal for now.

    If anyone has any experience or insight or resources into the role of a foster parent with traumatized children, please let me know!!

    I hope this encourages you in the deep, never-ending, passionate LOVE God has for you!!! No condemnation, no anger, no anything but joy and love in you! Enjoy Him, take comfort, and hope!! 🙂

    • September 6, 2011 at 11:58 PM

      Michele, rejected parents vary–some have a particular faith–others have none. Thank you for sharing this beautiful, insightful yet heart wrenching story. I think many rely on faith and hope, as currently, it is all many alienated parents have. It is my opinion, that more in the Christian community need to understand parental alienation. Many rejected parents have sadly, been offered poor suggestions (i.g. are you getting your children to youth group? are you praying for them?) or others parents, are met with secret suspicion (if the child/children refuses to see mom / or dad, the parent “must” have done something to warrant the rejection). Thus, not only is the parent alienated from his or her child, but also the Christian community. You may want to view Dr. Richard Warshak’s video, titled, Pluto. It is excellent. It can be purchased for a nominal fee at http://www.warshak.com. It is intended for both children and is great for adults too. Also, his book Divorce Poison offers suggestions on how to respond to the hatred. Indeed the most difficult part: how to respond. How to respond when you are told you are being used for your money, your rules are dumb, the name-calling and in many cases false accusations, or destruction of property . Blessings.

    • May 22, 2012 at 7:07 PM

      USAI’ve participated in and aeisnmiterdd and moderated more than one online forum or `registry’ dedicated to discussing parental alienation and other problems of parenting after a parental breakup, and learned a lot about other parents’ experiences along these lines, but none has lead to any consciousness raising in the public sphere.In my state there’s been several fusses raised recently, in the Legislature and in the context of oversight of the courts, alleging that parental alienation is a bogus concept that frequently effectuates battering and abusive parents wresting custody of children from `protective’ parents which has largely gone without a visible response from parents who take a different view of PA.I would like to see replies from anyone with any ideas as to how to inspire, encourage, and facilitate aggrieved parents toward making the other, honest side of PA a public issue.

  7. Roberta
    December 27, 2011 at 9:50 PM

    I’m not very good at ‘finding’ things on the computer, but I need some help before I actually go insane from all the hurt I’ve gone through in the past several years. I am not in the position of having younger children that are being ‘brainwashed’ by the other parent any more, but my children are all grown now with children of their own and I am still alienated from all of them although some more than the others. My oldest son has completely ‘disowned’ me and his children don’t even know I exist and all of them (I have 4, 3 sons and a daughter), have me alienated from them and my grandchildren although some more than the others. I need help because I’m now older, and I haven’t gotten over my children’s alienation any more now than when it first started happening. I now have several diseases that have rendered me disabled, and I know it’s mostly from so many years of heartache and loneliness. I once had a large family with a full life and lots of love until my ex-husband decided to leave me with the 4 children, but he has managed to alienate each one of them after the whole divorce was finalized when he would have them for his visitations. As time went by it started as having them wanting to spend more time with him and not me anymore because he was the ‘fun’ parent, and I was the one that was the sole caretaker of all of them. It progressed through time until now they are all almost totally alienated from me, and as each of them left my home they increasingly gravitated to him and his ‘new’ family until now I am totally left out of their lives. My heart is broken, and I feel as though my life has been stolen away from me, and my dreams of growing old with my children and grandchildren being involved in my life have been shattered and broken. My life is an empty one, and I exist in constant grief for the loss of my family. This is the first time I’ve reached out to anyone, but this past Christmas almost ‘did me in’ with loneliness as I watched other families gathering together and I thought my heart would be torn right out of my chest. I hope I can find some relief as I now finally reach out for help to mend my broken heart, and hopefully my broken relationships with my children. God bless this site that I have found, and I hope I can get some much needed help in dealing with what seems an impossible situation.

    • December 27, 2011 at 11:57 PM

      Dear Roberta: Thank you for posting. There is a common factor I come across in reading and by reading the posts by parents and grandparents it is: that their ex-spouse was (or still is) the fun parent. And, as you have found out, as countless other parents have too; kids gravitate towards the fun house. Then, as the kids become grown-ups, many remain aligned with the fun parent. Some of your options include finding a suitable counselor or a support group. While you may feel alone; you are not alone. Knowing that one is not alone often brings some relief. Unfortunately, there are many alienated and estranged grandparents. Some have found solace by volunteering such as working with children that do not have grandparents. There are many areas to volunteer. An easy way to search for this is to do a simple search for “volunteer opportunities” (include in your search your state). Also, Dr. Joshua Coleman has an excellent book titled, When Parents Hurt. Another book is by Arlene Harder, titled Letting go of our adult children. Arlene’s web site is http://www.support4change.com/us/bios/Harder.html. She has excellent resources; I highly recommend the aforementioned book. Wishing you the best.

  8. January 18, 2012 at 12:30 AM

    Broken Bonds
    She hadn’t believed the bonds of love between daughters and their mothers could break; that a daughter’s love for a caring selfless mother could be destroyed by the influence of their father, stepmother and grammy; but it happened. Like branches in full Autumn glory bent low with the accumulation of heavy snow, some snapped back upright shaking snow off their colorful leaves like confetti, but others cracked from the weight of it all and broke; fully severed from the tree.

    Looking back, it was like a cancer that comes gradually and silently, until one day you are faced with damage to your being and a life-threatening illness. Barry, who’s depression and seething hatred had dominated their marriage once threatened “I’m gonna make sure these kids know exactly what I think of you and by the time they are teenagers they will hate you too”. She pitied him for being a hater ut didn’t believe he had the power to make his threat come true, or that her children would hate her. She chose to focus on the power of love instead to overcome all evil, and she kept moving forward.

    She’d embraced motherhood from the start with every ounce of her being. She founded mothers groups and playgroups. She took her kids to beaches, parks, apple and pumpkin farms. Being divorced did not change her passion for parenting. She saved her pennies for vacations and road trips. She hosted craft parties, birthday parties and sleepovers. She bought them computers, electronics, phones, and party dresses. She made sure they had good relationships with doctors, teachers, administrators, guidance staff and other adults. She was involved in their schools like other caring patents, and was a milk n cookies mom with home cooked meals every night. She provided a loving home filled with laughter where their friends were always welcome and many happy times were had. She took them to church and instilled values of hard work and academic, providing a secure home life that allowed them to develop into honor students and mature individuals with part-time jobs throughout High school and into college. She even helped them shop for their stepmother and stepsiblings at Holiday time and brought them to visit Barry’s mother and grandmother to keep family values a priority.

    Over the years her friends had observed that whenever the kids returned from a weekend with their dad, they were angry, conflicted, and distant. While married, Barry did things like mock 3 year old Tommy for crying on her shoulder, “Ohhh the baby has to run to his Mommy? Look at the sissy; the Mama’s boy”. This refrain resurfaced again when 5 year old Sally called from a weekend visit to Barry’s to tell her mom she lost her first tooth. “Oooohh look at the BABY who has to call her MOMMY…” There are many other ways he made it painful, even shameful for them to love their mother, care about her, or want to buy her birthday or Mother’s Day gifts. After she discovered that Barry had been driving the little girls around in the trunk of his Jeep so that he could fit all the stepchildren instead of taking two cars, he forbid them from telling her about their time spent with him, saying “It’s none of HER business what you do when you are visiting me” and he forbade them from bringing any of their birthday or Christmas gifts to their home with her. No wonder the kids were angry, conflicted and distant when they returned home after weekends with their dad. In a slow insidious way, they were made to feel she was insignificant, and worse, they began to adopt his hatred as their own without justification. When they became adolescents and begin to naturally individuate they added their anger to the scaffolding prepared for them and were told “You only have to put up with your mother until you are 18. Then you can leave her for good.” Like the discovery that all the stepsiblings had been sexually molested, it took a while for her to know the truth about the campaign against her.

    “Grammy HATES you!” they told her once with slight sympathy and confusion, but as the years went by they began to parrot the abusive accusations she’d heard from Barry during their marriage. They called her a “psycho” (one of his favorites), sociopathic, abusive, addicted, and said she never should have had children. They said that 18 years with her was long enough, just like their father. That’s how Sally put it in a note she found on the floor of her empty bedroom. She’d also schemed that “when both of us are gone, then everyone will know it’s YOU that has a problem. With BOTH daughters leaving you, no one will believe that you are normal! Have fun with that”. It was exactly the kind of rhetoric she’d heard from their father in his threat about making the kids hate her one day. They have also written off their brother and other extended family members who do not align with them in hatred, thereby missing out on not only great maternal love and caring, but the love of their brother and many aunts, uncles, and cousins.

    Somehow, she musters the strength to have joy daily, despite the chasm that exists in her family. She has an uncanny ability to smile at the future and not be stuck in brokenness and despair and brings joy where she goes often catalyzing the good in others. Truth is a choice. She knows her daughters have not chosen to see or know the truth yet and that it may never happen; truth will be a painful and difficult choice for them. But her life is good and she surrounded herself with friends and loved ones like hot chocolate and warm blankets. She has learned the secrets of forgiveness and pushing past broken pieces of life. But PAS is real.

  9. Karen
    April 8, 2012 at 2:30 AM

    What a wonderful website, a true light after being in the dark for so long.
    I am a targeted mother by my ex and his partner and for a while his extended family. My children have been exposed to lies and manipulation for about 9 years now. And it is soul destroying, it started out subtly and increased as the years went by.
    My children were left in the care of their ‘step mother’ when at their fathers house and she would say things to my children and they would come home hurt and confused my ex denied it and I believe that his partner did not tell him what she was doing.
    My son had a nervous breakdown at 12 and I stopped him going to his fathers I was blamed for everything at that stage I was emotionally exhausted myself but I was able to get my son through it and his anger at the lies he had been told. He was bribed with toys, money, special outings everything but what he really needed a stable home with loving values and positive co parenting.
    My daughter who is now 13 is really showing the effects of parental alienation. With lack of friends her own age, lack if confidence and she is still being told lies, promises.
    I have put all my energy and effort into working with my kids to build up their emotional resilience, their self respect, self belief, to trust their instincts and practice ‘win win’ communication so when they are being coerced into believing things that they don’t need to know or that are aimed at destroying my relationship with they can stop and think if it is in agreeance with their principles and values.
    I am regularly exhausted by the continual negative words and behavior that comes from their fathers house. It has limited my life in many ways but I am seeing my children – my daughter now who still goes to her father slowly detach from the stories and negative attitude she is given.
    Going back, about 5 or 6 years I thought I was going to loose my children all through the manipulation they were put through and I felt so powerless and helpless. I’ve had a very loving relationship with my children and I could feel that dissolving back then. they were encouraged to be rude to me, and would brag about things they were bought and places they were and told that was better for them than what I could do. What I found was when my children needed to be heard or understood they were brushed off by their father or step mother and slowly over time my children (first of all my son) realised that as long as they did things their fathers way all was good, but when my children needed unconditional love it wasn’t there.
    That’s when I realised that I gave my children unconditional love and if I could find the strength (which I did through praying) to continue to do this i could maybe make positive changes.
    It has been a painful but I have more peace in my life today and things still happen but I can manage them a bit better.
    To all the parents that have been denegated and alienated keep loving because the damage down to our children is worth fighting to change.

  10. April 9, 2012 at 4:55 PM

    Hi Karen, thank you for your comment. It is common for the alienating parent to bribe with material items. Consequently, many youth in these cases have a spirit of entitlement. You are correct they ” were encouraged to be rude to me.” Alienated parents have to endure severe disrespect. Certainly too, it is impossible to co-parent with the other parent because in these situations, the alienating parent refuses to work amicably. I am glad to read you offered unconditional love. Some parents take their children(s) rejection personally and in turn, they counter reject. I am glad you found information about parental alienation, recognized it is not about you, and glad too, that you managed to find peace. Blessings

  11. tonya
    April 16, 2012 at 5:38 AM

    It made me cry because I didnt know I wasnt alone…it hurts so bad like the wound is still fresh…its been a long strange trip.

  12. May 22, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    Hi Chelsey & EC,It’s important for evnreoye to know that PAAO is in the process of forming support groups that will have structure and guidelines. These will be IN PERSON support groups that will include advocacy, support and education. It is being organized mindfully and carefully before being officially launched but as you stated, it is coming in the very near future. In the meantime, it’s important for all us to continue to connect and build a network. We are making great strides in North Texas. Our Bubbles of LOVE Day DFW event is receiving local and national attention. We have proclamations from 10 mayors and the support of many organizations. I’m going to be a guest on Good Morning Texas next Monday April 11th to talk about Bubbles of LOVE DFW and Parental Alienation Awareness. Jill Egizii will be joining me. Please don’t hesitate to have anyone contact me. I’m committed to increasing awareness, building a network of PA Advocates and forming support groups. Looking forward to hearing from you!

  13. Lee
    June 6, 2012 at 2:00 AM

    I find it comforting that I am not alone and will attempt to put my thoughts into words as the hurt makes it very hard to write, when I start thinking of the pain I have gone through my mine starts running in every which direction the bottom line is I had not a good but a great relationship with my daughters for 15 years they were my everything and the love and trust we had was everything I could have hoped for before my ex-wife involved our children in our marriage problems and turned my children on me, the more I tried to get them back the more my ex-wife would step in and make sure that wouldn’t happen. I have tried going back to court getting consulting but nothing worked and all I ever hear is they will come back in time, well its been 3 years now 3 years seems like forever and no one seems to care and the courts only care if I pay my support they don’t care that my kids treat me like dirt and my X gets a kick out of the pain it has caused me, funny thing is I worry about my daughters even tho they treat me badly but I guess its a Fathers love, not sure how much longer I can continue enduring there treatment and I feel at some point I won’t care about trying to repair what my X has caused.

  14. Victoria
    October 25, 2012 at 2:49 AM

    Recently in April of this year my son came to see me without my awareness after not seeing him for 23 long years due to my ex husband and his family forbidding me to see my beautiful son. My son is 26 years of age now…he was 3 and a half years of age when his father left him with me along with his other brother to go to his homeland in Macedonia without my awareness. My ex husband took out every penny from our bank account and left the country with his parents. He lied stating he was taking his parents to visit relatives… So I believed him. The next day I went to the bank to pay a bill and the account was cleaned out…I had no money and concerned about my sons. After a couple of days my exhusband’s brother called to state that my ex and his parents were in Macedonia and if I wanted to save the family I would have to board a plane with my son to Macedonia. I was so desperate to save the marriage and my sons to have their family together…I borrowed money from my parents to pay my airfare to go to Macedonia. My parents pleaded for me not to go …they feared for my safety. The biggest mistake I made in my life was taking my son across the boarder. I lived in Macedonia for 5 years and went through hell. My other son being older stayed with my parents. After abuse, lies and having no money ( my ex refused to even find a job to support us). I lost a lot of weight, became very ill and missed my other son desperately. With the help of a close relative I had to leave the country. My ex husband and his family refused to let my son come with me. He even had legal documents for my son to stay in Macedonia. I begged and pleaded…for them to let my son come home with me…they did not care and the answer was no. When I borded the plane with my close relative…I wanted to die…I had no purpose in my life for what happened. My other son was waiting for me ( he was ill). I arrived in my homeland and went directly to the hospital due to distress and also a tumor in my stomach from enduring all the years of stress during the marriage. Now my son 26 years of age has so much anger and resentment towards me and blames the loss of the marriage and family was all my fault. He came to use me financially…I have no money and can barely pay my own bills. I also have another son with a disability and aging parents to take care of. My son even wanted me to give him ownership of my home that I presently live in…he strongly feels I owe him this. I refused to let him humiliate me and explain to him how much I love him and how much I have missed him every day and night and tried to make numerous contacts with him…but his family would not allow any form of communication, gifts etc. My son would not even take 10 minutes to listen to my side of the story. My son left to go back to his father and young stepmother. I was hoping he would stay and we could rebuild our relationship as mother and son for all the missing years. He is gone now and I lost him when he was very young and now I lost him as an adult forever. My heart is broken into so many pieces and I beg parents to not alienate your children from their parents. For the children become adults and will always have anger and resentment towards the other parent and will never know the truth. I pray for my son and hope he has a blessed life and maybe one day when he has children of his own that he will remember the sacrifices and pain I had to endure to try and save our family that could not be saved.

    A mother’s broken heart

  15. jj
    November 19, 2012 at 5:54 AM

    Alienation of innocent children is a big problem, all over this country and Louisiana is no different. I have been alienated from my daughter for four years. The Judges, and Hearing Officer, as well as mediator and supervisor have made money off of alienation of my child as well as many other children in this State of Louisiana.
    There needs to be laws like in Brazil to stop these kind of people from making Alienation of Children no longer a business, but a crime. Each individual with a title or authority and power over children should have to take courses in PAS and the devastating effects on children.

  16. Roger
    May 5, 2013 at 12:54 AM

    Dear God,

    I know you love my child as much as I do, as it is your daughter as well, Please fill her dreams each night with loving memories of me and our times together, Allow her to feel my love filling her soul, and feel me when I think of her, Let my thoughts give her a warm glow, like an invisible hug that makes her suddenly smile, Protect my daughter from permanent damage with gentle reminders that she is loved, That she was not abandoned, Remind her that she is strong, To believe in herself and in my love, God, please help us find our way back to each other, I have the strength to find my way back to her, please give her the strength to stand up for us, Love is patient, You gave me patience I will follow your path that I pray leads me back to my dear daughter . Hold her tight for me until that day comes, I ask in your name,


    • Tonya
      May 6, 2013 at 4:32 AM

      Wow. Tonight was the first night that my ‘lil’ girl said she would pray by herself. I have said prayers with my children every single night since the day they were born. I have been divorced from a very…ugly in so many ways…man, for 2 years..apart for 4. We were together for 24 years. Anyways, tonight I felt so secretly hurt that she didnt want me to pray with her. Of coarse they just came back from a weekend visit with their father. It never fails, the children seem like they arent even mine when they come back from him…usually takes a few days at the worst and the next day at its best for them to ‘come around’. I didnt act hurt of coarse, I said in a normal voice, “ok hunny, I love you, goodnight and sweet dreams”…then I walked out and into my sons room. He is the younger child. They are 12 and 10.
      He seemed easily aggitated as usual from coming back from his dads, and for some reason, he had gotten upset with me and almost into tears. I asked him what was wrong, and he very annoyed said, “why do you always think something is wrong, nothing is wrong!” So I again, trying to be as normal as possible said, I know hunny, but you seem upset, so I was just wondering. You say your ok, so then ok. We prayed, and I got up to leave the room, and he grabed my hand and said dont go. This is normal for when he comes home. So quietly I played with his hair as he closed his eyes, we said our I love yous and he fell asleep. When I came out to the other room where my boyfriend was, I told him how it was different tonight with my daughter, and how it made me feel bad. I know exactly what happened when they went with their dad…same thing that always happens…he talks both myself and my boyfriend down…I mean really nasty stuff.
      I started to read my email, and came across yours…I read it and became teary eyed. I needed to hear that..I needed the reasurance that I am not the only one hurting…I am not the only one still being emotionally abused by my ex…and watching my children in the same situation. Every day I pray that Gods will be done..I know I wish he would just get his…but then I am convicted and know that is wrong…he needs prayer. After all, I would want my kids to have a better experience with him…then to not have him..but it all has to be given to God, because I cant do it alone…wouldnt even want to. So thank you so much for this email. I will continue to pray for Gods will to be done, and I read this prayer as well. Its beautiful. Thank you. God bless.

    • December 19, 2013 at 12:22 PM

      today it is 3yrs since my daughter left to attend an evangelical free church She never returned. Part of me died that day, that part is gone forever. Thank you for this prayer

  17. Greg
    April 24, 2017 at 2:14 AM


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