Home > Parents > Parental Alienation & Cyber Rejection: I Cannot Click I Like You. Favored Parent Frowns.

Parental Alienation & Cyber Rejection: I Cannot Click I Like You. Favored Parent Frowns.

Parental Alienation & Cyber Rejection: I Cannot Click I Like You. Favored Parent Frowns.

I Cannot Openly Love You

Dear ( Mom or Dad)

There is something I  want to say, but not sure how. I probably will never mail this letter to you; it is awkward. See, I love you. I really do. But it is like you just gave up. Did you? I do not want to hurt you, but if I list you as a parent on my face book or my space page, well, it feels like betrayal. It is not like the other parent outright gets mad. It is just like they don’t seem  happy. You know, a shifty mood. If I delete you off my friend list, or refuse to comment to your responses, they treat me better by allowing me stay out really late—sometimes all night!! And well, if you are like you used to be, you will get mad but sometimes they treat me just like an adult! I get to do everything they do! Sorry, I am just telling you like it is.

Anyhow, It is really weird cause’ they seem happy if I make comments to all Dad’s side of the family. I think they are jealous that I might love you. Sometimes I think they want me to actually hate you, but I am not sure because it is not like they would come right out and say that—that is just creepy. It kind of reminds me of those bullies in junior high. They all get together and  tell me what to do. I feel pulled in a thousand different directions. It is not like they have said, “do not love your mom” it is more or less goes like this: If I say something positive about you or talk about what we did together,  they roll their eyes. Sometimes, it is just tacky comments, like “oh your mom thinks she is better than us”  and if I ask them to please stop (like I did when I was little) they won’t stop. I guess it worked better when I was little, cause of the crying.  They never stop.

 I am so confused.  Now, that I am older, they just talk about you in another room. Loudly too—making sure I can hear. I am dying inside! I wish you could do something!!  This has gone on for a long time. Now, it seems unnatural to show affection for you. I can only love you through private e-mail. They disapprove of you. What did you do? I mean, the way they used to talk about you, and at times, still do… I cannot help but wonder. It is burned into my memory, one in particular, “Your mom has changed” Geez, how did you used to be? I thought change was possible? I thought people could grow and change—you know better themselves. I think I was about seven when they said that.  Please do not become upset when I post comments on their pages and ignore you (that is why I private message you). I remember reading something in school about cults. Mom, it is similar to that. They do some good things for me and help raise me. But they do not want me to be close to you. I feel suffocated. It is not acceptable to openly love you.

Sincerely,

 Alienated Child

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Categories: Parents
  1. Dan Podsobinski
    August 30, 2010 at 12:47 PM

    What a sad letter. What a happy letter because there is communication. It sounds so similar to what I think my daughter would write.

    It’s been about a week since she rejected my friend invitation on facebook, which is monitored by her mother. They even blocked me so I can not ever reach back out to my daughter on facebook.

    Thank goodness I was provided supervised visitation with my daughter late last year. Although the mother cancels or just doesn’t show up about 30% of the time I did see my daughter this weekend — and after having a good visit, I gave her a back to school gift: It was a pen with an image I drew and a website — dadlovescasey.com
    She was excited, wanted to know what was out there and how this blog was organized. I told her about the 250+ photo’s out there and the tons of videos out there of us ice skating, working on the science project from 2 1/2 years ago, and lots more.

    To allow only her to be able to view and communicate with me I activated a password mechanism that authenticates to yahoo or gmail e-mail accounts. After she acknowledged that she’d like to see it I told her to just log in with her old e-mail address.

    Casey tells me that her old e-mail address was cancelled since their computer “was hacked”. Her old e-mail address had part of her last name in it. She provided me her new e-mail address and she was now using her mothers maiden name! My daughter even wrote down the new e-mail address for me with her new pen. During this time I am feeling sick to my stomach for what the mother has done and elated at the same time as my daughter is freely providing me her e-mail address.

    I am hoping and praying to hear back from my daughter one day soon with positive comments on how well she enjoyed the web site.

    …one other interesting comment made during our last visit was that she was intrigued to hear that I had a section on her rights as a child. She actually looked at me and said, “you mean I have rights?” I said yes, they are adopted by the state of TN and they are out there for you to view and comment on.

    One of these days I’ll ask her about facebook. Once we get in counseling together. Once, with the help of the courts, we get back on track of rebuilding what the mother is completely focused on destroying.

    Thank you for your posts. They are very helpful.

    If I can be of assistance to anyone wanting to create a very touching blog for their child please send me an e-mail – dpodsobinski@yahoo.com as I would be happy to help out.

  2. August 30, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    Hi Dan, thank you for your comment. A lot of parents that have lost contact create blogs or post on other sites, such as the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization, hoping to reach their children. Thanks for offering your assistance. Obviously most kiddos do not desire his or her parent on face book or any other networking site. But, it raises a red flag when the kid lists only one parent and blocks the other and/or lists that they have a mom but leaves the dad section blank.

  3. Jeff
    October 31, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    I hope my son still thinks of me. We were tight for 11years the past two has just burned out. My 13yr old will not speak to me. Thousands of dollars spent in court for nothing. My the therapist keeps telling me he is closer to 16 then 6. Keep showing up, he will come around.

    I drive 60 miles to him play ball on the trip back home I listen to Hwy 20 ride by Zac Brown Band. Constantly, I am flooded with memories of him doing the potty dance to hitting a homerun. I go to games and watch and cheer him on. I stand on the sidelines with the other broken Dads. I call it the land of broken toy land. He comes by after the game and I tell great job and walks by.

    I have been at the end of rope and these thoughts help me cope.

    I love that son of mine. He closer to 16 then 6.

    Jeff S. TX

    The look:
    I saw a different look today
    U played hard on both sides of the ball
    U made ur stand and threw the pass in face of the rush
    U made the tackles and kept driving ur feet
    A football player
    Digging down facing defeat
    Never quitting playing hard to the last second
    I was in my place after ur game to tell u good game
    U gave me a glance and walked on by
    U came back down from stands and gave me a look
    That second look

    Jeff S.

    ————————————————
    Tomorrow:
    That day that very special day
    Tomorrow it’s right around the corner
    It’s the day!
    The day when you say dad what’s up
    The day you look at me with love in your eyes and warmth in heart
    Not like today
    Today you have contempt hatred and ur not sure why.
    Today the one closet to you has lied
    You can’t understand
    Tomorrow you will make that stand
    Tomorrow you will see
    Yes you will have distain for the ones who lied to you for the ones who encouraged you to go against your soul.
    A fathers love for his son never dies never leaves never stops
    Because tomorrow is THAT day

    Jeff S.
    ———————————-

    Ache:
    Grant it’s been forever and a day since I heard you say dad, say I miss, u asking me something. This brutal place we now live is unbearable I pray for relief just to hear ur belly laugh and hey dad what’s up

    We share each others eyes, heart and soul. After all the bond of father and son never dies. Exposed to lies and deceit of others has parted our bond for a time. This time is an eternity yelling to god to put too an end. My son my son My god!!! Damn this suffering ache bring that boy back he needs me I need him. We need each other. Son and father

    Jeff S.

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